Self Help

Self help is one of the main elements available to anyone who is seeking healing, recovery, change, or self improvement and personal growth in his or her life. As a Life Coach/Mental Health Coach I have worked with and continue to work with thousands of people who want more in their lives and who want to understand themselves better and to build healthier relationships from the foundation of knowing one's authentic self and learning to live more fully and more authentically.

Self Help Information from Life Coach, A.J. Mahari

This website was the first site that A.J. created back in 1995 when she first got on the internet. Since then A.J. has been very busy creating and writing for many more sites of her own. It has been a long time since a lot of new information has been added to this site. Please keep checking back, especially to this page where A.J. will be adding, as she has so far in the first month of 2010, much more self help information for you.


You can join A.J. Mahari to discuss interests, concerns, and issues on a wide variety of topics as well as join in on discussion with others on A.J. Mahari's Self Help Information and Life Coaching Facebook page.


Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life



A.J. Mahari's Self Help Blog Posts


A.J. Mahari is a life coach and author. She is a prolific writer and blogger. You can read some of her latest blog posts by scrolling down this page A.J. will have more audio and video clips here in the near future as well.

A.J. Mahari's Life Coaching Services


Self Help for Change - Healing and Recovery Audio Program © A.J. Mahari


A.J. Mahari's Self Help Blog Posts

A.J. Mahari's General Self Help Infomation

Why More People Are Turning to Self Help

Why More People Are Turning Working With A Life Coach


A.J. Mahari's Life Coaching Services

General Life Coaching
Emotional Mastery Coaching
Coaching for those with Borderline Personality Disorder or Loved Ones


Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life



A.J. Mahari's Life Coaching Services


Self Help for Change - Healing and Recovery Audio Program © A.J. Mahari


A.J.'s Self Help Blog Posts

Who Is Responsible For Your Happiness?

Codependence Toxic Guilt and Abusive Relationships

Emotional Mastery Coaching Learn How to Be Your Own Brain Mechanic

Does Mental Illness Block All Happiness?

Emotional Reactivity Observe Your Feelings

3 Building Blocks of Emotional Competence


3 Negative Effects of Blocked Emotions

Footsteps of the Past Obstruct The Here and Now

The Positive and the Negative of Control

3 Obstacles To Your Happiness

Pathway To Your Happiness

Grief A Process of Gaining Perspective and Coping



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A.J. Mahari's Life Coaching Services

General Life Coaching
Emotional Mastery Coaching
Coaching for those with Borderline Personality Disorder or Loved Ones


Self Help for Change - Healing and Recovery Audio Program © A.J. Mahari



 Inner-Child Information  Self Loathing
 Fear Of Intimacy  Healing The Abandonment Wounds
 Terror Attacks & Emotions  Why Spend Time on Yourself?
 Your Inner Critic  Changing Your Body Image
 Negative Self-Talk  Toxic Shame
 Shame and Guilt  Declaration of Self-Esteem
 Boundaries Power of Personal Boundaries
 Depression Information  Compulsive Overeating Quiz
 Recovery Bill of Rights  Pain To Power-Overcoming Fear
 Anxiety Information  Body Image
 Mental Illness: Any Walk Of Life  Prevent Depression


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Self Help for Change - Healing and Recovery Audio Program © A.J. Mahari



Why More People Are Turning Self Help


Self Help gives the seeker a new found freedom. With this freedom comes much responsibility. We must be careful as we seek to enhance our lives through healthy change that we don't become too dependent on others. So much of the most important change you need in your life has to come from within you and cannot come from medications or therapists.

There are many different challenges that benefit from medication and therapy. However, there is a great deal of truth to be realized when it comes to helping one's self. Why? Simply, put, because all the pills and all the therapy in the world can't cure or fix everything or everyone or even leave a person "whole".

Self help creates and implements an element of your own personal style, philosophy, and personal creativity that you can bring to whatever it is that you seek to know more about, heal or recover from, and/or change in your life in a way that opens up increased opportunity for a more personal experience. An experience that you can craft in ways that enhance the freedom you have to explore and examine within the framework of your own personal journey. A journey at the centre of which lies your own personal choices.

"What is the importance and meaning of freedom to self-fulfillment? How does our environment-- our family, the government, and the media-- mix with our biology to shape and taint our behavior, and therefore impact our ability to make choices?



"Why Freedom" draws from philosophy and the sciences to answer these questions in light of man's search for meaning. Thoroughly researched, "Why Freedom" synthesizes Existentialism, Pragmatism, Evolutionary and Social Psychology, Biology, Physics, and Economics into an interdisciplinary paradigm of human intent. Unveiling man's abilities and freedoms to seek self-fulfillment..."

Optimal thinking is required if one hopes to achieve being his or her "best self". If we want to know who we are, we have to know what we are thinking. Too often in life we can react without thinking. When we fail to be in tune, get in tune or stay in tune with our feelings, more often than not, our reactions will come from thoughts, based on feelings (we often deny or aren't aware of) that make our actions seem so foreign to us.



It is only through "Optimal Thinking" that we can set ourselves free from lives of being stuck with having to constantly compromise what we know we want, need and deserve along with having to substitute pieces of the joy and happiness, the fullness of life that we long to feel and experience.

Challenge yourself to help yourself through self help and challenge the way that you think. Challenge your understanding of yourself. You can help bring about the change that you want and need in your life.

Giving ourselves permission to be in charge of our healing/recovering journeys means that we must embark upon a path of self-discovery through taking responsibility to help ourselves. Information and experiences that can help us to grow wiser in who we are, and why we are, as we are, and what we need to do to change and find the peace we all strive for means taking personal responsibility for directing your journey yourself. This is the ultimate freedom. An ultimate freedom that in and through self help can be realized even from the entrenched patterns of the schemas that often are resistent to the very change being sought after.


Self Help for Change - Healing and Recovery Audio Program © A.J. Mahari



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What Does Self Improvement Mean?

Self Improvement, what does that really mean? Could it possibly mean the same thing for everyone? Is it different from self help?

Self Improvement is most often embraced as being something that is aimed from a substantial psychological or spiritual basis primarily.

"According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, potential benefits of self-help groups that professionals may not be able to provide include friendship, emotional support, experiential knowledge, identity, meaningful roles, and a sense of belonging." (APA Dictionary of Psychology, 1st ed., Gary R. VandenBos, ed., Washington: American Psychological Association, 2007)

I think it is fair to say that anyone engaging in a process of self help and/or learning more from self help information is also engaging in a process of self-improvement. Self improvement is the outcome of self help. For each individual person, what self help and/or self improvement means to and for you will reflect your own interests, issues, and concerns. Each and/or both self help and self improvement will reflect what you consider them to be about for you.


© A.J. Mahari



Why More People Are Turning Working With A Life Coach


More people are turning to working with a life coach like myself as a means of finding support, validation, and understanding on their self help journey. As a Life Coach a Mental Health Coach and a BPD Coach I have the sacred blessing of witnessing the dynamic process that unfolds between the coach and the client. Life Coaching brings to self help accountability, direction, support, validation, and compassionate understanding. You don't have to be alone in your self help journey. Whatever it is that you are seeking to know more about, about yourself and your life, working with a life coach can help you to identify goals, identify and understand what is blocking you, and how to learn to unblock your pathway to authentic self and your pathway to happiness in your life through the achievement of the goals and dreams that you so desire and deserve.


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Last up-dated October 2, 2010