Poetry of 2 Borderlines -- Lillian W & Lillian J
You hold me in your arms and keep me safe from any harm I do not have to live in fear because I know that you're near You watch over me at night until the morning light You are there if I should call and catch me when I fall You never ask for any thing in return this is some thing we all should learn You inner beauty really shines I'm so lucky that your mine When in fear my body shook it my hand that you took Even when things were right I still never left your sight You have always been at my side there is nothing that I can hide I am so happy that you care and that you are always there No person I could ever find that who has been so kind You show yourself with many faces I can find you in many places You are truely sent from heven above becuase that your filled with so much love I hope this will tell you how I feel Because to me I know your real
Lillian W
In the dark places of my mind Where sanity is hard to find That every thought is black and white People say that kind of thought is not right There is nothing that will make it go away At times I hope to die, to God I prayed Where all abandonment is real This may not be true, but it is how I feel For all this insanity, I know I am to blame For all the pain I cause I feel the shame At times it wears many different faces From this pain, there are no safe places It's strange I know to cut, to stop the pain To tell you why is hard to explain They say there's no medication I wish this was just some hullucination No matter what I do, there seems no joy All my relationships I seem to destroy I can't control my temper when I'm mad I see myself image as being bad Perfect is what I want to be Then everybody will love me and not abandon me I cannot trust that what people say is true For fear that I will be hurt if I do Most doctors say there is no cure God how I wish they weren't so sure I know this life is difficult to believe Or even to try and conceive I hope this will help others see What life is like being afflicted with B.P.D. I know this is not a sweet poem, But for all of us that are afflicted with BPD and for those who have to live with us and love us all is not sweet either.
Lillian W
My world is a merry-go-round that's colors are bright for thoses that look at it they think what a beautiful sight They think how lucky I am to get to ride as it goes around and around they can't see what I hide They look for a moment and then they are gone to live their lives as if nothing was wrong They can't see the chips or dents nor can they see the one that are bent They don't stay to see how much faster it goes with each turn it takes I'm the only one who knows The day and nights are like the horses we ride there's ups and downs with no one to guide For those that came for a moment or two they think its great until it not new However unlike me they get to choose to leave or to stay with nothing to loose For those who ride are often mad how can a thing of beauty be so bad On this merri-go-round a one of a kind to find a way off is hard to find So if you choose to take a ride please be patient with all your might the ride is often lond and hard you'll need both hands to hold on tight Next time you stop to look at this merry-go-round this thing of beauty but remember to it I'm bound I can't get off nor make it stop be glad your not on this spinning top Neext time look beyond the colorand the lights for what is real is usually out of one sight
I wrote this in hope people who look at me and tell me all I have and have no reason to be depressed may have a some understanding what it is like. That by all means does not convey the whole truth but to look beyond what is just on the surface.
Lillian W 2/4/99
You say, "Hold onto the reigns" I say, "Let them go tonight" My brain waves Confused between what is and ain’t She cries, "Groundless and Free" Tired of the water Tired of the wine Tired of the future Tired of time Tired of the madness Tired of the steel Tired of the violence Tired of Me Used steel Used steel I am What was pliable in love Is now hard and crystallized The intellect is fine For counting money And recalling times That she cried, "Groundless and Free" Hope is a letter that never arrives Delivered by the postman of my fear Tired of the water Tired of the wine Tired of the future Tired of time Tired of the madness Tired of the steel Tired of the violence Tired of Me
Lillian J
If I told you he was your brother We could reminisce Then you could go about your day If I said you ought to give him Some of your water You’d shake your canteen and walk away The perception that divides you from him Is a lie For some reason you never asked why This is not a black and white world You can’t afford to believe in your side This is not a black and white world To be alive I say that the colors must swirl And I believe That maybe today We will all get to appreciateLillian J