Twelve years ago I woke up as Janet. I woke up cowering 
and afraid spending a lot of my time in the fetal 
position on my bed. I was OK before that because I had 
been Stephanie, but somehow after my fathers death I went 
back to being Janet again. 

Janet is good, she tries to do everything right, she wants 
to please everyone. She is so afraid of peoples dissapproval. 
She is terrified of the dark. Somehow for the last twelve 
years, however, I have kept going as Janet. Nothing goes 
well for Janet. She just seems to do herself in everytime. 
She is too good and too nice. She lives in fear. 

I miss Stephanie so much. It was fun to be Stephanie. She 
is brave and daring. She is adventurous and wise. She knows 
how to take care of herself and she is very spiritual even 
though she may behave in ways that others would dissapprove of. 

Stephanie can feel and she can laugh and cry but Janet is to 
afraid to feel anything she is too busy trying to prove to the 
world that she is a good girl. That she is a good enough girl 
to be loved, but the world keeps on disagreeing. That doesn't 
seem to stop her though it just makes her try all the harder. 

We are sick of Janet. We think that she has been in control 
and running things long enough. Things keep getting worse and 
worse and it is to the point where we think that we may be 
locked up in some way or form, mental ward or jail we don't 
know which one but it seems to be comming to that. We have 
had enough of her. We are trying to think of ways to get out 
from under her so Stephanie or someone more fun and more 
reasonable can come out.We have to act soon.

Janet