Scared and confused Haunted, wasted, alone left to die unknown to myself over and over again How can I let anyone else know me? I don't know me I don't like me How can I let anyone else know me? Does this merri-go-round ever stop spinning? Will I one day feel like I'm winning? It hurts, it just all hurts and no one gets it Does this merri-go-round ever stop spinning? I feel like a nut-case like old contents locked in a suitcase no needs, no one remembers and no one ever wanted I feel like a nut-case There is an eerie screaming-quiet quietly-screaming in the centre of myself a self I haven't even met yet all this noise locked inside of all this quiet Borderline they say to me as the world runs the other way Borderline they say to me as I dawn yet another mask Hiding, I am always hiding lost, I am always lost drowning, I am always drowning fighting, I am always fighting lying, I am always lying scared, I am always scared angry, I am always angry alienated, I am always alienated isolated, I am always isolated failing, I am always failing hurting, I am always hurting misunderstood, I am always misunderstood Borderline they say to me so what's that mean? Borderline they say to me maybe it's what it means when you have ceased to be and yet already been? I don't feel that I am... I feel lost I feel like I am behind a wall of glass I feel distant and insignificant I am walled off I am a prisoner of my own agony I am different or weird I am misunderstood I don't know what I want I can't ever make up my mind I don't know what I want to be I don't know what I want to do I don't feel that I am Who the hell am I? am I? No one dares Who cares Who shares No one cares Whirling in turmoil lost in chaos stuck in drama so so so so angry am I Borderline they say... © A.J. Mahari 1987