Is This Dissociation?

By Edon

When I was a young girl I had imaginary friends, 
as well as an alternate play identity for myself.  
As I got older (teens) my imaginary friends did 
not leave, although my identity changed several 
times through the years. 
 
I am now a college graduate in my 20's.  This 
pattern of "entertaining myself" with my imaginary 
friends and alternate self still goes on.  It is 
fairly well hidden though, as it goes on when no 
one is around, or else in a manner that cannot be 
percieved.  I do not think this is MPD because 
#1 There are selves outside myself (imaginary people) 
and #2 I am in control of reality and can "snap back 
out of it" immediately when neccesary. #3 Sometimes 
the dialogue is internal but mostly I find a way to 
be alone, and I will begin to act out my thoughts.

Unfortunately, the desire to BE this alternate self 
overwhelms me to the point that I neglect time, 
responsibilities etc.  It seems to be SOMEWHAT place 
specific.  There are places, like my home, that I 
will go to specifically to act out my fantasies.  It 
is sad because I function in life at an average to 
below average level because of this.  Even in college 
my grades were not near what they could have been 
because of neglecting my studying or EVEN CLASSES to 
become my alternate and enter my private world.

My alternate is a young woman, but I can become her 
at any age (I have been her from a Toddler to a forty 
year old married woman to a grandma).  She has a 
boyfriend/husband.  She has a myriad of friends and 
family.  They all have dynamic personalities as well.  
I can portray her at any time in her life, and her 
husband is always the same person.  Her Father and 
Mother exist but were rich, powerful, and abusive, and 
do not live with her, as she was sent to live with her 
older brother who loves her.

I have no idea whether this is MPD or DID or DID Other.  
All I know is that I have in recent years tried things 
to stop this and I've found that although I am control 
of my faculties at any given moment, this addiction (?) 
to act out my fantasies, or enter this created world is 
something that I continue to struggle with daily.  It 
is something that has profoundly affected my life.  
So far in all my researching, I have seen nothing that 
seems to mirror what I am describing.  I find NO 
catagory that I fit into...and that is scary to me.  
I have never seen a therapist..I am a professional 
and am very embarrassed by what I am confessing here.  
I have never told a soul.  All I do know is that I was 
abused emotionally, and psychologically by both parents.  
I don't think severely, but somewhat physically too.  
I have NO idea what it is that I suffer from.