"Taking Care of Ourselves"

From the Book: "Beyond Codependency" by Melody Beattie

"After we've accepted ourselves and given ourselves a hug, we ask ourselves two questions:

       'What do I need to do to take care of myself?'  
       'What am I supposed to learn?'

Often, the self-care concepts we need to practice are basic:

       realistic evaluation of what we can control  
       removing the victim  
       dealing with feelings  
       taking what we want and need seriously  
       setting boundaries  
       making choices and taking responsibility for them 
       setting goals  
       getting honest  
       letting go, and  
       giving ourselves huge doses of love and nurturing

Consciously focusing on our recovery program, talking to healthy people, plying ourselves with meditations and positive thoughts, relaxing, and doing fun activities help too.

We need to get our balance back.

Taking time to care for ourselves at work may require some different considerations than caring for ourselves at home...Self-care is self-responsibility.

Codependency is a self-defeating cycle. Codependent feelings lead to self-neglect, self-neglect leads to more codependent feelings and behaviors, leading to more self-neglect, and around we go. Recovery is a more energizing cycle. Self-care leads to better feelings, healthier feelings lead to more self-care, and around that track we travel.

Don't worry if you don't understand, or if you aren't ready to learn the lesson today, that's okay. Lessons don't go away. They keep presenting themselves until we learn them. And we'll do that when we are ready and the time is right."

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  • as of September 24, 2000